My anxiety is high today. As the minutes tick by it is getting worse. Why do I feel this way? I really hate that I get so nervous about things I can’t control. Like the weather for example.
So here I am in Omaha, really, really close to the path of full totality for the eclipse. But Mother Nature may have other plans for all of us around here. I’ve had a rough “plan” around this whole thing from the very beginning and I mean really rough. I told the kids they could stay home from school because I was planning on taking them SOMEWHERE for the event. We were invited to hang out with my friend Denise who rented a camp site near Beatrice Nebraska which is in the path of full totality. Cool. But I hate to commit to anything like that because I wanted to stay flexible.
Up until a couple of days ago, I was still on the fence about it and wondering if it would not be easier just to get in the car and drive southwest and spend a picnic afternoon on the road, jumping out of the car to see this “once in a lifetime” spectacle. But I didn’t have glasses (because Denise had already bought some). So I had a mini freak out. I called around and ended up finding some at a nearby grocery store. They look legit. One crisis averted. I just needed to decide which way to go, south or west. I figured I would let the weather decide, which is also something you can’t really be sure about until it’s almost the day of.
Denise is already at the camp site and I was afraid of mass crowds and super bad traffic so I’m still hesitant to commit, but I had told her to save us a spot. Then this morning, she texts that the bad storm last night was 60MPH winds. Her tent broke and everything they brought got completely soaked. Now I am looking at the forecast and it’s going to be cloudy. So I am leaning on driving west, but now I feel bad for her and the fact that I probably will not go there. Waiting to hear back on how things are going as I type this.
It’s the weather though.. you know it is a thing that is outside of everyones control. Even my brother who does contract work for NASA could not have predicted what August 21st would be like in the year 2017. Although he is the one who told me the further north west you go the better the chance are for clear skies. Yes, my rocket scientist brother is in Casper Wyoming where the viewing will be outstanding. Of course.
I need to let go of this anxiety. All of this is outside of my control.
Now, let’s just pile on that I’m having guests today and they will be meeting my kids for the first time and I’m so nervous about that. I have no REAL reason to be nervous. They are great, my kids are great, the house is clean (as clean as it gets anyway), and I’m sure everything will e just fine… Still my heart is beating faster and I’m worried that something will go wrong. Someone will be in a bad mood, or they won’t be agreeable to whatever we elect to do for activities or will refuse to eat the food I cook. All of those are possible, but again, outside of my control. We are who we are and it is what it is. Part of me wonders why I am so riddled with anxiety over all of this because it’s just one afternoon in the grand scheme of things. But I am who I am and apparently that is out of my control too.
Hopefully once they get here and the kids start to play, my nerves will smooth out and everything will be fine. It will.. right?
Time to go finish a few last minute things. The kids are at Brian’s so I have to go get them. After that.. I’ll be quite preoccupied for the next 24+ hours. Probably no time for writing unless this eclipse is a total bust because of the weather.
Look to the Skies,