I’ve been trying to do too much. Or at least it feels that way. Focus on work and kids and exercise and diet and reading and writing and family and.. and.. and.. And no wonder I feel so tired and overwhelmed.
I just re-read Matt’s last email to me (which was from December) and in it he pointed out that he became sick of hearing about the same things (problems) over and over. I wonder if I go back and read journal entries year by year if this theme is just a constant in my life. Scratch that, I don’t want to add another thing onto the pile of things I think I have to do.
It’s such a rough cycle. Having too much to do and not having enough time. Sacrificing sleep to fit more in. Feeling the effects of too little sleep and then not being able to get as much done because of that. That’s rotten.
I recognize the lack of sleep is an issue and to break the cycle I need to get more sleep.. regularly. At the end of last year I was taking some sort of med every night for this. It was just over the counter stuff, but I needed it to stay asleep between 2 and 6AM. My issue was that I was waking up at 2 or 3 or 4 and then not being able to go back to sleep. When you wake up at 3AM and that is the start of your day, of course you are going to be tired by 3PM and hitting a wall by like 6 or 7. That’s a pretty rotten cycle too.
The meds helped, but I’ve never been one to be OK with staying on something like that for an extended period of time. Even though I was still feeling depressed and overwhelmed with life at the start of the year, I was getting better sleep and so decided to stop taking them to see if I could maintain the same sleep success without.
Up until this past week I was doing good. I use my FitBit Alta to track my sleep and since the beginning of the year my average went from 7 hours a night to 8 hours. But this week I’ve had a couple of really late nights and early mornings and I’m starting to feel the effects already.
Tonight I declared that we were all going to bed at 9 (I have to say 9 for it to be 9:30). It’s 9:12 now and I am sure I could fall asleep in an instant, but I have to get the kids to sleep first. That’s a challenge too. Anyway, since that time is now and my goal is 9 hours.. I’d better get to it.