What do you say when you have nothing to say? Where do you start?
I could go round and round about the same things I’m always on about. Things being balanced, things being connected, thoughts and feelings, goals and stats. But none of that feels right tonight. None of it.
I did spend the better part of the day being angry and frustrated at work things. Every last one, outside of my control. I have to let the anger go or channel it into something productive. A workout perhaps. Yesterday and the bliss of productivity, and quality time with the kids, and a little Kenichi with Josh were distant memories by 9AM. I was stress eating by 10.
Tomorrow I go into the office and have my yearly performance eval. It’s typically a non-event. They tell me how I’m doing and I listen for key feedback. I’m not so concerned about my actual numeric eval as the comments from the peer reviews or customers. I dig hearing positive things about actual work I have done from real human beings (who doesn’t), and so you can tell me I got a 3.75 out of 4 but that’s all subjective when the scale and criteria changes year to year. Peoples opinions of me are what really matter.
We don’t get enough actual feedback at my job. It’s a shame. I think employee satisfaction and engagement goes up the more they feel vested in the outcomes and valued by the people around them. I think good managers recognize this, and provide input whenever possible.
I’ll probably also get a raise. Maybe. What I need is more vacation time. I would gladly take another week of vacation over a raise at this point. The time off is so important in my life right now. My sanity sometimes depends on it.
So I guess when I have nothing to say and I just start where my mind has focus, it ends up being work stuff. And not super positive work stuff. Maybe I’ll try to go balance things out by researching things for this year’s family vacation. Or perhaps since I am vetoing balance tonight, I’ll just skip it and go straight to sleep.
Started and Finished,