It has been a few days since I have written anything. Either I have not had the time or the inclination. I generally feel better about things if I can write through it, but sometimes, it just doesn’t work out to do that.
I also feel like a broken record sometimes. Or a broken CD. Or what is it now? A broken Spotify playlist that only has one song? It’s just more of the same. I talk about my sleep, but I can’t seem to really make a significant improvement. I talk about exercise, which has improved, but I’m at a threshold which I am not sure how to improve upon more given the time constraint. I’m unhappy with my eating habits, but still fail to make poor choices when it comes to food.
I think part of my inability in the last couple days to write anything or even want to write is also boredom. I’m in a regular routine and there is not much to say. I need another road trip, an adventure, or at the very least something different to happen to spice things up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for extra drama to be thrown my way. I just want to be inspired by something, and I am just not.
I wonder if that means I’m ready to start dating again. I think about that from time to time and a little voice in the back of my head says “nope”. My broken heart may be on the mend, but I’m still probably far from ready to begin again. The grief is still too fresh and the memory of what I just went through is still too strong and overpowers any remembrance of what it feels like to fall in love. I know I want to experience falling in love again. I know I will, at some point, be back in a place where that is the thing I want more than anything. Just not yet.
On that note, it is back to my boring life for another day of the typical grind.