2017-04-10 My Own Worst Enemy

It’s still Monday, for another half an hour. I think I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to doing what I know is right.

I declare that the first step to solving my woes is to get enough sleep, yet I’m the one who decides to bake cookies after getting home at 9PM at night. The time it took to make those cookies was 2.5 hours and for sure, I’ve sacrificed some sleep in order to do that.

I know what I should be eating to support a healthy lifestyle, yet I choose to bake cookies and taste tests one from each batch straight out of the oven to see if the slight variations in cooking make a noticeable difference. There is no way I can spin that these cookies are good for me in any way. Sure, they are made from oatmeal and whole wheat flour, but the rest of it is fat and sugar.

That’s all pretty lame and now I’m exhausted and don’t feel good about my decision and can’t even give myself credit for getting 19K steps today (except that I just did). 😉 All the same, I don’t think any amount of exercise would make me feel better. Actually, if the cookies were any good, that might make me feel a little better, but I don’t even like them that much. I’ll probably end up taking most to work tomorrow and giving them away.

So with all these lofty (and some not so lofty) goals, how to I protect myself from myself. How do I force myself to make better decisions. I think part of it comes down to accountability, I wrote a post several weeks ago talking about giving up caffeine. Part of that was the fact that other people I know were also giving up caffeine and that made it easier. We still get coffee, but it’s decaf. I know if we are going to talk about it, then I want to be able to “report” positive things. Maybe the same thing can be applied across multiple areas.

When I was dating Matt, he was the primary person I was accountable to. I would tell him about a thought or a goal and then I knew he would ask me about it again. Like “hey, how is that going?” The people pleaser in me always wants to deliver positive news, so I would make sure that happens.
When I lost that relationship, I lost that one person I was accountable to. I just need more regular contact with my friends and tell them what I’m up to. Maybe they will ask about it the next time and maybe not. Who knows.

I actually spend quite a bit of time with Josh, the guy I went to Saint Louis with and he’s the one who also cut caffeine so maybe I’ll toss some more eggs in that basket and see what scrambles. If I’m going to be my own worst enemy, the answer is to have better friendships.

It’s rolled over to Tuesday so I’d better try and make a good choice now and get to sleep instead of staying up doing something else.

Laterz,
Miss SugarCookie
(the cookies I made were not sugar cookies, how ironic)

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