Today I’m on my way to Austin. I’m visiting my Texas bestie, Rebecca, and her family. Our friend Lance is also going. It will be a good trip.. it always is. We all work from home during the day and then do some fun things on the off hours. As usual I have a ton of work to do but these trips are a good reminder why I do that work.
I need to not only be able to afford the lifestyle but I also have to have the flexibility to work from where ever. Right now, with this gig, I have both. It’s just so stressful given the amount of work and I’m constantly mentally fighting with myself about it. And just like that I’m talking about work again.
I brought my new tennis racket with me in the hopes it will be nice enough to play (read into that, not too hot) and that someone will be interested in doing that. I told Lance I wanted to play. We’ll see what happens.
Right now I’m headed to Denver on United. I really hate the fact there are no direct flights from Omaha to Austin. At least I’m not flying to Minnesota to get there. I have done that before. It was stupid. It’s not even 8 AM and I’ve already over indulged to the point I feel uncomfortable. I have to stop eating and drinking so much.
I keep telling myself sleeping well is the first step in the solution, but while I wait and wait for that to get better, I’m putting off making other improvements. Maybe sleep isn’t the first step. Especially since I can’t seem to get that one figured out.
I usually sleep better in Austin at Rebecca’s place. Josh asked me why that was and I really don’t know. Maybe I feel somewhat disconnected from my problems and responsibilities. Maybe there is not enough to keep me staying up so late. Like many things, it’s probably mostly mental.
Josh. He told me he loved me last night. He was looking at me.. looking into my eyes and I asked him what he was thinking. Now how do I feel? It’s complicated.
I have to wonder why everything is always so complicated. I don’t know why, but I look up at the sky and ask why. I ask as if the universe will provide the answer. I ask as if there will be a sign and I won’t have to wonder anymore. It’s so foolish.
I have a few days to think about it before I will see him again. Maybe I’ll take some time and write more about us and attempt to work through those layers of complexity.
We are in final descent now. Time to pack it up.
Laying Over in Denver,