2017-05-23 Looking Ahead

A week ago I was heading back from Austin and super pumped about the future, and today I just feel very blah. I decided to ask for sabbatical instead of just quitting and have heard nothing on that. I don’t know what I expected to hear and how soon, but waiting is not my cup of tea. I give it until Thursday when I am back in the office. One week should have been plenty of time for them to figure out what they can and can’t do with my request.

A week ago I was heading back from Austin and determined to cut ties with Matt and let him know I did not want to see him. I did that, via email, but my heart is hurting still and I still want to see him. We exchanged emails and that’s made me feel even worse and it’s like it does not matter at all that I declared we should not meet and talk. I’m checking my email in-box in hopes that there will be something else and I can’t help it. I know the best thing would be no contact, but nothing is ever easy.

A week ago I was heading back from Austin and felt happy and energized and there was a spring in my step. I was relaxed and refreshed and ready to face the world again, but one week back in my normal day-to-day routine and I’m waking up feeling tired, unmotivated, and defeated. It is truly time for those changes. I need to take my life back. I need to be able to look to the future with positivity and excitement. I need to make plans to do the things I love and I need to do them. Why am I waiting?

I think the rest of this week should be dedicated to getting the rest of my garden in order. I’ve still got herbs and flowers I want to plant and a few more veggies too. Things I was not able to find the first time around. I should start by making a list so that I can be as efficient as possible and not waste time running to stores to find what I need. Yes, I think that should be the plan for this week and then I will also start looking ahead to next week and the week after that.

The kids will be out of school soon and we will want to go to the pool and and to go on road trips and to make the most out of the Summer. I need to start planning for those things and hopefully that will be the spark I need to get out of feeling the way I feel about today.

To the Future,
~Miss SugarCookie

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