Two blog posts in one day.. that has not happened in a long time. It must mean that too much is still too much and I’m having trouble handling it. I’m just winding down for the day and am laying in my bed thinking about this reality. I’m fighting the urge to go down to the kitchen and eat the one piece of strawberry pie I brought home from my dad’s house.
I don’t have my kids tonight and probably have too much time to think for my own good. This means that the door is open for questions.. which sort of feels like that one Talking Heads song. I’m about to have what feels like a “Once in a Lifetime” opportunity and I’m asking myself…
“Well”…“How did I get here?”
I’ve got a beautiful house
and a beautiful garden
and two beautiful children.
I’ve got so much but still feel lost and alone.
I had a good job and now I don’t.
I’ve seen a lot of wonderful things in my lifetime so far,
But so unsure about the future.
I’ve made choices I can’t ever undo.
I just have to go with the flow, You know
Like water flowing underground.
How do you continue to choose
when you can’t ever know
Where that choice will lead
Where that highway goes?
Will I forever be questioning
“Am I right? Am I wrong?”
And tomorrow I may be wondering
“My God! What have I done”?
Yup – that about sums up how I am feeling right now, or at least the only way I can articulate it.
I’m getting ready to turn in I guess.. see if I can actually sleep.