2017-08-03 The Consumption of Time

I’m one full month into not working and quite amazed at how my days magically fill up with things to do despite having 8+ extra hours to work with. The first change, which I think I thought was going to be quite instantaneous but has taken a little time to come to pass is the extra sleep.

When I put in my notice at work back in the end of May, I had an immediate sense of relief and that manifested in some wonderful, sleep-aid free nights of sleep. I thought for sure that was a magic ticket that would for sure stick, but that relief in the sleep department was short lived. Instead, my sleep issue soon returned and I found myself once again turning to taking some Benadryl or Xanax quite regularly.

It really has not been until the last few weeks that I’ve finally turned the corner again and am now getting almost 8 hours a night without aid. I’m wondering if has just taken this long for this change to settle in or are my issues with sleep just chronic and destined to come and go. I guess it does not really matter as long as I can enjoy the extra hours I am getting when I get them. I will gladly sacrifice those extra hours for sleep because it feels really great but the rest of my day and those other hours I would normally be working seem to also be consumed by things I normally had to fit in after work.

Take yesterday for example. I spend the entire day mowing, doing dishes and laundry and going to lunch with my mom and before you know it 5PM had arrived. How could I possibly have stretched out all that stuff to fit 8 hours? Now, I did also fit in a two hour nap in the afternoon (which was also glorious), but did my chores really need to take the whole day?

The other noticeable change in my routine has been my writing. I used to write, when I had some inspiration, in the evenings. My day from 7AM to 7PM was typically very set and I would not even think about opening my laptop until after that. Many times I would be too tired once I got to that point and/or would have lost interest in whatever it was I wanted to write about. Now I have lots of time and can pretty much get right to it when I fancy. It seems I have shifted more to a first thing in the morning writer. It feels very natural.

When I wake up, I’m typically thinking about what I have going on that day and I lay in bed and sort of think through it. I’ll grab my phone and check the weather to see if that is going to affect any of my plans and I typically will also check my email too. Though I like to be active pretty much right away, I’ve tried exercise first thing in the morning and that still does not suit me very well so the writing is a nice transition from thinking about the day and actually starting the day. The only thing I struggle with a bit is having something to write about.

Besides the stream of consciousness stuff, I also write other things, mainly poetry, but that requires a special brand of inspiration. Now that I am writing in the morning, I don’t really have the whole day to reflect on like I would at night, so I find myself wandering off in different directions on different topics which is nice. Hopefully that diversity will be more interesting to revisit in the long run.

Obviously some of my time has been consumed with the addition of dating back in my life, but most of that is time that I would normally have spent with other people any way at lunches and coffee and dinners. Probably I have spend more time thinking about the dates and people and chats and also past relationships than the actual dates themselves. I’m trying to figure out what it is I am really looking for and keep coming up with different answers at every turn and maybe all that thinking is what is taking up my spare free time. Why else would it take me 6 hours to do laundry and mow the lawn? Haha.

Anyway, I’d better get started on my day and by started I really mean figure out what I want to do this morning because most of my time this afternoon and evening is already spoken for. I have a good couple hours until lunchtime and don’t have anything pressing that needs to get done. Perhaps I will hit the gym and perhaps I will go make something out of the tomatoes my mom gave me yesterday. We shall see.

Happy Thursday,
~Miss SugarCookie

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