2018-04-09 Sunday Sneaking into My Monday

I missed my Sunday Status yesterday. I skipped over that in favor of my little rant about my ex. Sometimes you just gotta get that out, you know, to get over it. The other very therapeutic thing I did was compose an email (not ashamed to admit that’s something that also makes me feel better). The email was to my ex and in it I included very specific dates and detIls regarding the history of our employment and the health insurance.

I included exact dates of coverage begin and end and who paid for what. See I keep maticulous records of that stuff that serve me well in situations like this. I also let him know I have the supporting records, notes, and cancelled checks.

I called him out on some of the other sketch shit too. I don’t expect a reply but he’s never acknowledged my emails. He claims to not check his email, but I know he used that same address with communications with the school and has replied to them. (I know because they tell me.. he doesn’t typically include me in his replies).

Anyway between yesterday’s post, the email, and this nice, pretty bow right here.. I’m washing my hands of this one for now. Time then to catch up on status… which, for the most part is completely average.

Exercise.. 14K steps a day average last week. That’s actually below average. And I only did 3 Jazzercise classes which I think is my new norm.

Sleep.. 7 hours 11 minutes average per night. Slightly above average for the current target, but I’d like to hit 7.5 hours.

Healthy eating… Always a struggle. I can’t seem to kick my sugar habit. The easter candy doesn’t help. I also can’t seem to get a handle on my nighttime binge eating. I’m making fairly good choices, but can’t seem to get my weight back down to my normal baseline. I’ll probably always struggle with this. Ugh.

Work.. Busy week. I was over my target number of hours by about 7. Money in the bank baby. As a side note, I’m going to have to start putting in more hours to qualify for health insurance. It’s gonna be tough with school, but you do what you gotta, right?

School.. Full time still and back to reality this week. With the delay on turning in my last assignment, the next one is in about 2 weeks. I have a lot to do to catch up. I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna do what I need to. I’m kind of relieved the end of the semester is coming. I really need the summer break.

Relationship.. Happily dating. 😊❤️

Things I’m looking forward to this week..

1. A Meetup with my sister on Wednesday.

2. Date night on Tuesday with JS.

3. Girls gaming on Saturday afternoon at a board game cafe.

4. Monthly wine night with LA on Saturday night.

5. A mini road trip with JS on Sunday. The first road trip test. 😜 So far, the fact that he suggested it and is planning everything is so refreshing. Score!! ✅

That’s it for today’s rant wrap up and delayed Sunday Status.

Time to Jam,

~Miss SugarCookie

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2018-04-05 That’s How You Know

How do you know if something is as great as you think it is? We’ll try abstaining from it for a while, see if you miss It. Then go back to it.. do you rediscover how awesome it is? Yes? That’s how you know.

I had to forego Jazzercise for over a week because of travel and school and work. Last night I went back to it and it was great! It reminded me how valuable both the exercise and comradery are. I missed it and was so happy to return.

As usual, my diet suffered when I was out of town and I’ve somewhat continued that self indulgence this week. The numbers on the scale are creeping up again. That kind of stuff starts to take over my thoughts if I dont keep it in check.

The last thing I need right now is to lose sleep over some stupid numbers. Goodness knows I think about it enough already. The steps and Jazzercise and imposing some control on my choices for meals and snacks is the path to success. Without Jazzercise (especially in the cold months) it’s all just elliptical. One trick pony’s aren’t good for results.

It’s true I have a whole gym at my disposal, but for some reason I’ve never really gotten into lifting or other classes. I keep trying every once and a while, but it never lasts. Jazzercise lasts.

It’s dance and freeweights and cardio and new music and routines all the time. Plus, it’s so valuable for an introvert/social frady-cat like me to be in a familiar environment with familiar faces. They know me and are super friendly. Priceless.

When I was doing a deep dive into my finances, I considered cutting it because it’s like 60 bucks a month. Obviously I didn’t but i have thought about it again recently. Doing the math, if I do an average of 3 classes a week, it comes to about 5 bucks a class. After last night, I realize the value all over again.

That’s how I know.

I suppose it’s also true for people. There are people I meet up with that always remind me how much I enjoy talking with them. Those are the people I want in my life.

I’m also missing JS. It’s a busy week for me and I have the kids and there’s going to be very little opportunity for a date. I’ve remained optimistic about us and so far there has been zero disappointment or red flags. I’m trying to remain realistic and logical, but he’s pretty great and there’s a part of me that wants to daydream about the future.

Every time I see or talk to him I’m thinking about how wonderful things are. And… That’s how I know. 😉

Reading the Signs,

~Miss SugarCookie

2018-03-19 Delayed Sunday Status – The “Big News” Edition

What day is it again? I’ve been traveling on a new track and apparently left my sense of time a few stops back.

Oh yeah.. Monday. It’s been a few days since I’ve done anything resembling my normal routine, and my balance was definitely off this past weekend. I’m going to try and rediscover my center of gravity today and since I completely breezed by Sunday, I’m going to start by checking-in in my stats from last week.

Steps and Exercise.. 16K average per day. Not quite on par with where it has been (20k), but still above goal which is 15K per day. I had a few 25K days and that helped balance out the two days I fell way short of the 15. One contributing factor of the decline was the fact I only did 2 Jazzercise classes all week. There are reasons for that, of course, but I’ll get to that.

Food was pretty variable too. I didn’t do a stellar job of rejecting all the birthday goodies, but in hind site I did ok. If there is one thing I can see in the horizon for this is yet another attempt to minimize gluten. I’ve had a reoccurrence of a past irritation which was alienated before by eliminating gluten for over 6 months. Not solid on my level of commitment there, but it would be easier than ever given the, now, wide spread social and economic support of this lifestyle choice.

Sleep.. 7 hours and 9 minutes average per night and I’ll take it! This is arguably my most important stat and the most neglected area. If there’s something that always sufferes from my poor choices, this is it. I’m going to try very hard this week to get to bed at a good hour.

Work is really taking off now I think and I hit my goal for hours last week with more left undone. I don’t see there being any trend back the other way either. I now have my fingeres in more pies and I can feel my team members trusting me more. And at long last, my checking account is safely back in the black. Still not good enough to start looking at my wish list, but getting there.

My schoolwork has been severely neglected for a couple weeks now and I’m detecting a very bad trend. The panic monster is snoring hard and I’m content just to dance around and ignore it. That’s not good. I need to get back to my reading and writing. I need to set aside dedicated time and make this a priority. It’s going to get even tougher I think given my other status change. Which once again brings me to everyone’s favorite train wreck topic. This time, however, I feel like I’m riding the Eurostar.

At the present moment I’m thoroughly enjoying the smooth, elegant ride. The easy, effortless way I’m being propelled forward on this track makes the speed seem virtually unnoticeable. I’ve only known Bachelor #15 for two weeks, but It feels like much longer and I’m quite pleased with how things are going. This definitely deserves more words, and I have more, but out of time now. I’ll just end by officially stating that my relationship status is now happily being changed to “dating”!!! ☮️💕😊

If this train wrecks, I probably won’t survive because I’ll likely drown somewhere between London and Paris.

Time to Monday,

~Miss SugarCookie

2018-03-11 Sunday Funday Status Update

Today my atypical weekend continued. I started my Sunday with the usual 8:30 Jazzercise class, but skipped any gym time and went for tea with a friend instead. I fit a little bit of work in, went shopping with Z for sweet 16 party supplies, and then to my Dad’s with the kids so we could celebrate (yet again) for her bday. I guess when your parents are divorced and your grandparents are also divorced you end up celebrating like 6 times.

So I didn’t hit my step goal today, but overall last week I was once again above average getting 20,775 average steps per day. I’m doing less Jazzercise and only did like 3 classes again this week.

My sleep improved slightly and I almost hit goal. 7 hours and 23 minutes average per night.

My eating habits remain in poor condition and I have gained a few more pounds and this madness has to stop. I don’t think I can do more exercise, but perhaps changing what I am doing will help. However, I know my main problem is the junk food and lack of willpower. I keep saying “tomorrow will be the day I’m cracking down on this”, and then it isn’t and I don’t. Something has to give.

The work week was really, really close to spot on!! A few more hours and that would have been dead on target. I’m getting more responsibilities now so I’m feeling pretty positive about this trend continuing.

The schoolwork is in a lull again and I really have to snap out of it before I get bit in the ass again with that procrastination thing. I need to put in some serious reading this week and catch up. My writing new material has kind of subsided too so I may need to break out some of those idea factory exercises my mentor sent.

My relationship status is still single. However, I did have date #3 with Bachelor #15 today (that was my tea meet up). I’m pretty hopeful about this, but cautiously optimistic. The ghosting thing has me paranoid but it just feels different somehow. If I may say, it feels “normal”. The right conversations, the right decisions on where to go and what to do, no red flags. He’s very responsive in text and really easy to talk to. He’s intelligent and handsome and fit and has a great job. There’s just a little twitch in the back of my brain going “ok, then, what’s the catch?”.

We already have a plan for date #4 so that’s also positive. I just have to get through the rest of these birthday shenanigans first. One more major thing Tuesday evening through Wednesday morning and then that will be over for this year.

Tomorrow I’m going to eat healthy and work and catch up on reading. Cross my heart!

Sweet Dreams,
~Miss SugarCookie

2018-03-10 We All Have A Set List

If there was such a thing as a regular Saturday routine, I’m off it today. It’s mid-afternoon and I just made it to the gym. I’m in the hot-box and it’s so hot I feel like my skin is going to catch fire. Normally this dry heat sauna is my Jam but maybe I’m not as cold blooded as I used to be.

***

And then I ran into Josh and there went another hour of my life. Sometimes our conversations are philosophical and engaging and I come away with new ideas and perhaps even something different I want to look more into and try. Other times it’s like this…

Him: I still love melee.

Me: /smile and nod (🙄)

Him: I need to figure out this diet thing.

Me: /smile and nod (🙄)

Him: Moving away is the answer to my job situation.

Me: /smile and nod (🙄)

Him: Code Red is my motivation. (Talking about another girl at the gym he’s had his eye on for 3 years and only ever said 2 words to).

Me: 🙄🤷‍♀️

I never know which Josh I’m going to get. Today it was all of the latter stuff. And he cycled through each one. I thought my blog was a broken record. 😜

The kids are away this afternoon with their dad and I should probably put some time into schoolwork. Tonight I’m going with a friend to “wine night” which is once a month at her friends house out west. It’s always a toss up whether I go or not. It always sounds like a good idea, and then the day arrives and I just don’t feel like it. I think it’s the anxiety from being around strangers coupled with the fact that they always have so much food and my willpower is not strong. I have nothing to say, so I just stand there and eat and eat and then feel terrible about myself after.

Still, I want to try and be social. How else am I going to meet new awesome, interesting people??! And Leah is awesome too. She’s the friend that got me into Jazzercise in 2016 when I really needed something to focus all my bottled up emotion on.

I’m going to cut this here and go walk the treadmill and read instead. I may have to leave the gym though as there’s a dude here now who is notorious for being so loud and obnoxious it’s disturbing. This gym is not small, but if he is here, his presence is known.

There’s my broken record for the day. Unlike an unexpected encounter with Josh, you at least have the choice to “listen” or not.

Right round baby,

~Miss SugarCookie

2018-03-04 Peculiar Weather Patterns

What a week! Such highs and lows all in the same 7 days. It’s like the weather in Nebraska, wait a day and it will change. Sometimes dramatically.

First I’ll start with the the baseline, to establish there is sill some consistency and order in the world. For me, that’s the exercise..

20.3k average steps per day for the last 7 days. The last 3 or 4 days have been higher than normal and I think it’s because the weather is getting nicer and I’ve had several opportunities to be outside. I still only did a couple Jazzercise classes this week so most of those steps were just gym time and walking.

The sleep slump continues. 5 hours 48 minutes average for the week. I have nobody but myself to blame for this. Poor life choices strike again! It is, in part, due to the ups and downs of the week.

School.. procrastination forced a huge surge of activity in the beginning of the week and after Wednesday I’ve dropped quickly down to only spending an hour a day on it. I started a new text which is already very thought provoking so I think that’s going to help keep me engaged this month.

Work.. I put in 18 hours and as it happened the bulk of that began Thursday after my school stuff was over. It really worked out perfectly and now I’ve also got a few more tasks transitioned to me so hopefully I can get into that sweet spot soon.

Eating… Just terrible unhealthy choices all week. I’ve refused to get on the scale the last couple of days because I’m afraid of what I’m going to see. I think I’ve been stress eating junk food. I’m going to blame the dudes. Which brings me to everyone’s favorite topic.. Relationship status.

Single, actively looking, and how I feel about it changes every damn day. Toward the beginning of the week I was having tons of communication with another Bumbler and we ended up meeting up on Monday for dinner. It went really well. Seriously like afterward we texted back and forth in agreement that it was great. There was less communication the days following that and now.. I’m pretty sure I’ve been ghosted again. What is it with People?!

I’ve met my fair share of guys now and had good first dates and terrible ones, but in every case where I wasn’t feeling it, I’ve been very staightforward about it. How hard is it to say “thanks, but I don’t feel a connection, or chemistry, or insert any benign comment that lets them know it’s not them specifically.

This last one was worse because it feels like he was intentionally leading me on and was also dishonest. For sure agreeing with me that there was a good connection now seems like a flat out lie. Why??! I just don’t get it. It really makes me leery of what every guy might say to me.

Mid week I drank myself away from that situation and by Thursday I was swiping again. 🙄 I changed my search parameters and basically spent a fair amount of time going through EVERY matching profile. Yes. I swiped all the way to the bottom. Ha! 😂

I had a typical amount of matches and elected to delete a few but started about 10 conversations. Only about half responded which I’d like to believe is because they are no longer actively using the app.

Then yesterday, another match came through and I initiated a conversation. There was a little messaging through the app and then he wanted to talk on the phone, which we did in the afternoon while I walked my neighborhood. After that, we messaged briefly again and he asked to meet me. Well.. “yes please”.

We worked out that the only time that worked in the short term was that night (yes, yesterday). We met at a wine bar and talked for about 2 hours Over a couple glasses of wine and it was really great. He’s good looking, has a great career, intelligent, funny, and super easy to talk to.

He was even thoughtful enough to ask me to text when I get home so he would know I got there ok. I found that sweet. I’m just a sucker. 🤷‍♀️

This morning he already indicated he wanted to talk again. So that’s a positive sign, but you know I’ve gone through several similar quick iterations of this recently which have left me a little leery.

I just have to keep reminding myself not to take anything too seriously. I’ve got lots of things I should be focusing my time and effort on and all this dating stuff should be fun and not stressful. Right??!

I guess time will always tell… and tomorrow we might have snow so you never know. 😉

Ready for Spring,

~Miss SugarCookie

2018-02-25 Another Sushiless Sunday Status Update

Instead, I’m having tacos! 🌮🧡
I know, it’s not Tuesday but Sunday is the new Tuesday so it’s OK.

I’m going to cut to the quick…

Sleep is still a struggle. Average of 6 hours and 11 minutes a night.

Exercise is waning as well. 15,768 steps per day average, which is still above goal. I was down to 1 Jazzercise class and I blame school and kids and blah, blah, blah.

I’m having all the food now. Meat, dairy, veggies, fruits, sugar (yeah, that’s a main food group), and alcohol.. everything. Including gluten and caffeine and candy. My new thing is “everything in moderation”. I know portion size is a key factor for me so I’m just trying to make mostly smart choices and roll with that right now.

I wrote a lot of poetry, inspired by late night, incoherent, sleepless (and sometimes inebriated) thoughts so most of it is rubbish.

I only worked about 15 hours this week which will NOT pay my bills by far.

I realized that all the crap poetry that I’m writing will not satisfy my next deadline for school and started to put some serious hours into that.

My relationship status is still single (shocking, I know). I was ghosted by a guy I really, really liked and I felt like shit about that for a few days. I’m over it now (more later on that if I finish my schoolwork).

My student status is still full time. Nobody is going to kick me out of grad school if I procrastinate something and then don’t turn in the most absolutely awesome set of writing ever. They want my money. However, I’m not inclined toward anything shy of perfection, so I am struggling with the precarious predicament I am in now.

On that note.. time to turn my attention back to Dickenson and Creeley,
Peace and Love,
~Miss SugarCookie