2017-08-20 Things You Can’t Control

My anxiety is high today. As the minutes tick by it is getting worse. Why do I feel this way? I really hate that I get so nervous about things I can’t control. Like the weather for example.

So here I am in Omaha, really, really close to the path of full totality for the eclipse. But Mother Nature may have other plans for all of us around here. I’ve had a rough “plan” around this whole thing from the very beginning and I mean really rough. I told the kids they could stay home from school because I was planning on taking them SOMEWHERE for the event. We were invited to hang out with my friend Denise who rented a camp site near Beatrice Nebraska which is in the path of full totality. Cool. But I hate to commit to anything like that because I wanted to stay flexible.

Up until a couple of days ago, I was still on the fence about it and wondering if it would not be easier just to get in the car and drive southwest and spend a picnic afternoon on the road, jumping out of the car to see this “once in a lifetime” spectacle. But I didn’t have glasses (because Denise had already bought some). So I had a mini freak out. I called around and ended up finding some at a nearby grocery store. They look legit. One crisis averted. I just needed to decide which way to go, south or west. I figured I would let the weather decide, which is also something you can’t really be sure about until it’s almost the day of.

Denise is already at the camp site and I was afraid of mass crowds and super bad traffic so I’m still hesitant to commit, but I had told her to save us a spot. Then this morning, she texts that the bad storm last night was 60MPH winds. Her tent broke and everything they brought got completely soaked. Now I am looking at the forecast and it’s going to be cloudy. So I am leaning on driving west, but now I feel bad for her and the fact that I probably will not go there. Waiting to hear back on how things are going as I type this.

It’s the weather though.. you know it is a thing that is outside of everyones control. Even my brother who does contract work for NASA could not have predicted what August 21st would be like in the year 2017. Although he is the one who told me the further north west you go the better the chance are for clear skies. Yes, my rocket scientist brother is in Casper Wyoming where the viewing will be outstanding. Of course.

I need to let go of this anxiety. All of this is outside of my control.

Now, let’s just pile on that I’m having guests today and they will be meeting my kids for the first time and I’m so nervous about that. I have no REAL reason to be nervous. They are great, my kids are great, the house is clean (as clean as it gets anyway), and I’m sure everything will e just fine… Still my heart is beating faster and I’m worried that something will go wrong. Someone will be in a bad mood, or they won’t be agreeable to whatever we elect to do for activities or will refuse to eat the food I cook. All of those are possible, but again, outside of my control. We are who we are and it is what it is. Part of me wonders why I am so riddled with anxiety over all of this because it’s just one afternoon in the grand scheme of things. But I am who I am and apparently that is out of my control too.

Hopefully once they get here and the kids start to play, my nerves will smooth out and everything will be fine. It will.. right?

Time to go finish a few last minute things. The kids are at Brian’s so I have to go get them. After that.. I’ll be quite preoccupied for the next 24+ hours. Probably no time for writing unless this eclipse is a total bust because of the weather.

Look to the Skies,
~Miss SugarCookie

2017-08-19 Satisfying Saturday

I could talk about the health tests I took yesterday. That was pretty cool, and I want to talk about it but now does not feel like the time.

I just got back from an evening bike ride which started at my house and led me into and past downtown Papillion and then west on the Patio trail to 108th. It started out as an evening ride, but it’s almost 10PM now and pitch black. The sunset was pretty awesome but the ride got really buggy after that and I had not explored west on the trail before so I was really trying to pay attention to where I was. At one point I got a bug right in the eye and I had to stop for like five minutes to try and fix that. Ewwww. When I arrived home (pretty much 10 minutes ago), I took some benadryl because something else on the trail triggered my allergies. I have not had a lot of seasonal allergies for a few years now, so I am quite surprised, but hopefully the benadryl will fix it and also make me nice and drowsy.

Back it up a little bit and I grilled out tonight and also cooked my first zucchini from my garden. It’s really an event because I did not have any last year, likely due to lack of pollination where it was located and this year I messed with it so much I’m surprised the plants are even still alive. That being said, I only cooked half and the other half will be tomorrow night when I am having guests over. So tonight was kind of the trial run.

Back it up a little more and I went to the driving range with Barb and we hit balls to try and remember how to do that for our annual golf outing next Saturday. I golf once a year. That’s it. One time with Barb in her husbands work outing and after that we store our clubs away for another year. I hate golf and I think she does too. We just have fun drinking and driving the golf cart. Isn’t that why people play anyway?! 😉

The rest of the day I spent cleaning and doing things around the house and yard to also prepare for my guests tomorrow. I’m having a new “friend” and his daughter over for dinner so he can see my place and the kids can play together. They are coming over around 2PM and then staying through dinner. I’m not sure how the afternoon and evening will go but I’m hoping for the best. It’s one of those things.. I’m unsure and have some amount of anxiety but it is going to happen and whatever happens happens so I just should just let it. Still, I want to make a good impression so I at least want the house to be presentable. I mean, I should wait till later to reveal the fact that I only vacuum a few times a year. Right?

If nothing else, it is a good excuse to clean and finish a few unfinished projects. Now that I’ve done that, I feel very satisfied with the result so no matter what, I’ll have that to enjoy.

All in all, I am very satisfied with how today turned out. I’ve been feeling happy and positive all day, which is nice. I think that benadryl is kicking in so I’m going to head to bed. Hopefully I will have another great day tomorrow.

Toes Crossed,
~Miss SugarCookie

2017-08-10 Strange Days (Part Two)

Two days ago I woke up with a plan. I was going to have coffee with Barb in the morning and a meet up with Chris W. in the afternoon in the Blackstone district and probably somewhere in there get started on my edging project.

Coffee went as expected, and conversation with Barb was good, but that was about the only think that happened as planned. About noon I received a text from one of the people I met recently. Really the last one I had originally connected with and actually met in person before I decided to ditch the swiping. He wanted to know if I would like to join him and his daughter at the lake for a swim. First thought in my head was like, “No way I can do that”, but instead I texted back “That sounds great”. What was I thinking.

– I don’t swim very well and hate having my head under the water.
– I would be in a bikini and all my flaws will be exposed.
– It’s a time commitment and I had other things scheduled.
– And .. and .. and…

However, my desire to see this person again must have overwrote all those excuses. That must mean something. It must be a sign that something is meant to happen. He initiated this meet up (unlike the others), and so I had to go for it. My mind countered with…

– Then he will know you can’t swim very well and if that’s a problem, that’s his problem (who would judge a person on not being able to swim anyway?).
– I’m comfortable with the way I look and have to learn to accept my flaws. If he does not like what he sees, again, that is his problem and it would be better to know now.
– I can reschedule anything else and put off the backyard project for another day.
– And .. and .. and… I have to get myself out of my damn comfort zone or nothing is ever going to happen with my life.

And so I got my ass to the store and bought some waterproof mascara. Yes this was the one thing that was absolutely necessary that I was unwilling to compromise on. When I arrived back home, I put on my bikini, and layered on shorts and a tank top and grabbed my flip flops, sunscreen, towel, and bag and off I went.

I texted Chris to postpone our meet up until next week. I put the address into my phone and then let autopilot take over while I had a mini freak out in my head about this sudden event. Still sort of in denial that I was really doing it.

When I arrived at his house, it was nice and quaint and clean. A brief look around and I could tell he has good quality things and not too many things. Music was prevalent and a nice stereo system. His daughter greeted me at the door also and she was bubbly and talkative. We had a brief conversation and then gathered a few things and went down the stairs to the basement where the garage was.

I’m not going to dig into the play-by-play for this whole day, because it was a long day and there was a lot to it. It started with us driving to the beach, where we spent several hours and I had a much nicer time than I expected, despite my not being able to swim. That was followed by his daughter cooking dinner for us back at his place, which was followed by watching a good movie. I think I left his place around 11PM. The moment that I left, my brain went a little cray-cray.

I was immediately thinking back to all the moments of the day and doing a micro-analysis on each one. I felt happy and sad and hopeful and also a twinge of regret. I decided to drive up Hamilton street which is very near where he lives and go past the first house I ever owned. I’m very rarely in that neighborhood so I thought I would just see the old place, but when I drove by, I burst into tears. It’s my whole life. This is my life and I don’t want to waste any more time. I wasted a lot of years and that house brought me back to a time when none of those years had happened yet. In an instant, I wished I was 25 so I could do it all again.

Maybe I was crying because I know I can’t. I don’t really know.

I had a wonderful time that day and all the conversation and the interaction with him and his daughter were good. It was amazing she cooked us dinner and even though the movie made me cry, I was OK with that because that exposes me for who I am. I’m emotional and empathetic and I often cry at movies and shows when they are sad. That’s just the real me.

I wondered if I should text him to let him know I had a nice time and then I convinced myself to not overthink it and just text. So I did. He responded and then that was it for the night.

So much of it is still fresh in my mind. It was such a departure from everything in my life right now. It felt surreal to sit at that dinner table being served and it felt “right” (not the being served part, the three of us sharing a meal part). In the day that followed, I fought against my instinct to get mentally carried away. Ive put myself very much back on the “let him text you first” approach. If he still wants to see me, then he will let me know. If he does not, well, then, I will be disappointed but better to know sooner rather than later.

It was a strange day, indeed. A good day, but a strange day. After my migraine and medically induced sleep last night, I really was hoping to get back to a more normal day today. For the most part it was. Tomorrow is Friday and it looks like it is going to be another banner weather day. So much the better for making more progress in the back.

It’s just past 10PM now and I can barely keep my eyes open.

Stranger than Fiction,
~Miss SugarCookie

2017-08-07 GoodBye Alabama

I met with Alabama one last time today. He’s leaving for Alabama tomorrow. He’s so confident our paths with cross again. So confident he can convince me to come to come visit hime. The fact that he thinks he is going to have any time at all to spare with surgery and school and training and commitments from now into the foreseeable future amazes me. Still, he treated me to dinner at Blue and I treated him to a round of drinks at The Brickway and we had a nice time. It was good enough anyway. I felt that melancholy creeping in and tried to hide it as best as I could, but eventually just let him know what I was thinking. Even after I told him I didn’t think his plans would work out because I’m going to want someone here in Omaha, he still insisted that he will be back and will want to see me again.

It’s an untraveled road that I was not meant to travel. As I stand at the start of that road and peer down it, there are trees with large gnarled roots all up and down the path. There’s spots where the canopy is so thick, the light is not allowed in. There’s a feeling of sadness and relief that washes over me as I turn away to continue on my own, alone. We hugged goodbye and I got in my car to head home at around 8PM. I don’t expect I will ever see him again. That’s probably for the best.

In addition to that, I didn’t get much exercise today and I’m afraid I did not do very well with the eating and the drinking. I also only got around five hours of sleep so all-in-all, the week is off to a poor start. I did make progress in cleaning out my garage, so that was good, but did not even start digging out the edging from the back garden. One of my plans is to have that replaced here in the next week or so with the load of pavers I acquired last Friday. If I am going to meet with success, I’d better get a good move on it tomorrow.

I’m feeling really sleepy all of a sudden now and want to capitalize on that. I’m going to put this day in the past and begin again with tomorrow. The Sun WILL come out, tomorrow.

From Somewhere In the Middle,
~Miss SugarCookie

2017-08-06 The Raw Truth About This Dating Thing

This IS the organic blog about my life. That means it’s just raw and real and there are no additives and preservatives and no processing or editing. It’s just me. I just need to be real about this moment in my life. For one minute can I really just be exposed and not give a shit about it? I think I can.

I’ve blogged about my dating experiences on a very guarded level. Like here are the stats about how many people I have met and what my impressions have been and what I’ve learned and how that has shaped what I think about the app I’ve been using. Yadda..yadda..yadda. I’ve left out bits and pieces here and there to protect myself from.. myself. Or rather, protect myself from some consequence I have imagined would be applied if I really just came out with all of it.

That guy that I met in the beginning of July that I really liked and had a great first date with. You might recall I named him Mr. Fireworks because we sat in his truck after meeting for a drink at the bar and watched the fireworks explode on the horizon of the Chalco recreation area as the sun went down. We had a very deep conversation that night which delved into faith and philosophy and belief and we also kissed and I felt very connected and hopeful about the possibilities. The second time we met was at my house and I slept with him and after that night he never responded to me again. That’s the raw truth about what happened with that.

I felt really shitty about it. I felt cheap and sort of used and somewhat too trusting and hopeful. I mean, what else did I expect after the snapchats that had been exchanged. I guess I thought there was something more given the conversations that we had, but apparently I was wrong about that. I can chalk that one up to naiveté and perhaps also my own desire to really just want to have something happen after so long not having anyone want me in that way. So I let that go. I did not press the issue and really did not even try to contact him after being ignored for a couple of days.

After several more weeks having text conversations and meeting several more people I really was losing interest in using the Bumble app and had several active connections but resolved not to try and start any new connections. I was just going to let if fizzle out, but did have two people who I was actively chatting with that were very interesting. Again, I wrote about this in a very generic capacity. Last weekend I wrote a bit of a “creative” blog entry about “untraveled roads”. That was sort of an extended metaphor describing the way I felt about two of the people I had met. My mind always wandering to what kind of future I might have with each. One of those people was an ex-military guy, who I will call “Alabama”, that I met for a drink downtown and, again, really had a good time with.

We had a second meet up at Walnut and went for a walk and then had a quick bite to eat before we had to part ways. He was very honest and straight forward about where he is with his life and where he was going and what his plans are for the future. I found that very refreshing. Now here is a person who has direction and purpose and not really sugar-coating the fact that his life and plans come first. Equality was one of his tattoos. It stood for equality in relationships he explains and he even sent me something via email that he wrote about that to elaborate on it further. I really liked this guy but not sure how much. He was super responsive to text and very complimentary and called me beautiful. Who doesn’t want that?

So on our third meet up we had dinner and then walked the Old Market and then went back to his place and I slept with him. It was nice. I was once again filled with hope and thoughts for the future. I don’t want my heart to be hurt again, so I was still somewhat guarded and just trying to enjoy the moments for what they were.

The week following that was the military “Wounded Warrior” games here in Omaha and he’s really heavily involved with that and was quite unavailable. He was also getting some really heavy information back about his medical conditions and being forced to make some life-changing decisions. We met for dinner once this week and he eluded to the fact that his heart condition is being considered urgent and that he’s had to schedule surgery ASAP. Likely moving to accommodate that and his plans to attend school at Alabama. Tonight I got a text that he is packing and moving this week.

Not exactly the same situation as the first guy I slept with but it’s does not change the fact that I, once again, am feeling really shitty about the outcome. I think this is the other reason I am done with this online dating garbage. This is NOT me. I am not the type of girl that goes out with people and sleeps with them on the second or third date and never sees them again. At least I don’t want to be. I want to have a romantic relationship. I want to find a long-term partner. I want someone who is responsive, who I can trust, and communicate with and am attracted to and who likes me or adores me and wants to be with me and build a life together. That is what I want. My God is that too much to ask for??!

So this afternoon I had a few girlfriends over and we shared a bottle of wine and right about the time that they left is when I was finally getting these texts back from Mr. Alabama. So I am a little tipsy and not wanting to be alone and here I am alone. All alone and thinking about how this all has unfolded and I have no-one to blame but myself. OK, so I reason with it and tell myself to just add it to the list of lessons learned and call it good because now I know more about what I am looking for, but really that is just sugar-coating it. My heart hurts and I don’t feel like I deserve this. Why is life like this. What have I done to deserve being alone and feeling this unloved and unwanted?

Why can’t I be happy without a partner? Why can’t I be satisfied with my beautiful life the way that it is? Why do I let myself feel too easily for the emotions that are inevitable with these situations? Why couldn’t I make things work with Matt? Why couldn’t I make things work with my marriage? Why is there always an imbalance in the the way people feel about each other? Why, why, why, why, Why, WHy, WHY????!!

This is the real reason why I’m not using that stupid app anymore. I quite literally don’t think I am in any shape to take on the emotional challenges that come with this constant struggle of questions without answers. I probably should be focussing on my kids and my health and my future career instead anyway. Fuck this dating garbage. What a tricky pickle I have myself in, indeed (that is caught between second and third when I can’t go forward and I can’t go back).

It’s 8PM and still light out. I’m three glasses of wine on the day now and should call it done. There was no sushi, no coffee, and no walking today so it was definitely a far cry from the “paint by numbers” Sunday that I’ve longed for for so long. Just like the rest of my life I guess.

Sayonara,
~Miss SugarCookie

2017-08-03 The Consumption of Time

I’m one full month into not working and quite amazed at how my days magically fill up with things to do despite having 8+ extra hours to work with. The first change, which I think I thought was going to be quite instantaneous but has taken a little time to come to pass is the extra sleep.

When I put in my notice at work back in the end of May, I had an immediate sense of relief and that manifested in some wonderful, sleep-aid free nights of sleep. I thought for sure that was a magic ticket that would for sure stick, but that relief in the sleep department was short lived. Instead, my sleep issue soon returned and I found myself once again turning to taking some Benadryl or Xanax quite regularly.

It really has not been until the last few weeks that I’ve finally turned the corner again and am now getting almost 8 hours a night without aid. I’m wondering if has just taken this long for this change to settle in or are my issues with sleep just chronic and destined to come and go. I guess it does not really matter as long as I can enjoy the extra hours I am getting when I get them. I will gladly sacrifice those extra hours for sleep because it feels really great but the rest of my day and those other hours I would normally be working seem to also be consumed by things I normally had to fit in after work.

Take yesterday for example. I spend the entire day mowing, doing dishes and laundry and going to lunch with my mom and before you know it 5PM had arrived. How could I possibly have stretched out all that stuff to fit 8 hours? Now, I did also fit in a two hour nap in the afternoon (which was also glorious), but did my chores really need to take the whole day?

The other noticeable change in my routine has been my writing. I used to write, when I had some inspiration, in the evenings. My day from 7AM to 7PM was typically very set and I would not even think about opening my laptop until after that. Many times I would be too tired once I got to that point and/or would have lost interest in whatever it was I wanted to write about. Now I have lots of time and can pretty much get right to it when I fancy. It seems I have shifted more to a first thing in the morning writer. It feels very natural.

When I wake up, I’m typically thinking about what I have going on that day and I lay in bed and sort of think through it. I’ll grab my phone and check the weather to see if that is going to affect any of my plans and I typically will also check my email too. Though I like to be active pretty much right away, I’ve tried exercise first thing in the morning and that still does not suit me very well so the writing is a nice transition from thinking about the day and actually starting the day. The only thing I struggle with a bit is having something to write about.

Besides the stream of consciousness stuff, I also write other things, mainly poetry, but that requires a special brand of inspiration. Now that I am writing in the morning, I don’t really have the whole day to reflect on like I would at night, so I find myself wandering off in different directions on different topics which is nice. Hopefully that diversity will be more interesting to revisit in the long run.

Obviously some of my time has been consumed with the addition of dating back in my life, but most of that is time that I would normally have spent with other people any way at lunches and coffee and dinners. Probably I have spend more time thinking about the dates and people and chats and also past relationships than the actual dates themselves. I’m trying to figure out what it is I am really looking for and keep coming up with different answers at every turn and maybe all that thinking is what is taking up my spare free time. Why else would it take me 6 hours to do laundry and mow the lawn? Haha.

Anyway, I’d better get started on my day and by started I really mean figure out what I want to do this morning because most of my time this afternoon and evening is already spoken for. I have a good couple hours until lunchtime and don’t have anything pressing that needs to get done. Perhaps I will hit the gym and perhaps I will go make something out of the tomatoes my mom gave me yesterday. We shall see.

Happy Thursday,
~Miss SugarCookie

2017-08-02 My Walnut Creek

When you fall asleep just past 9PM after just having eaten a biggish meal and wake up at 1AM, was that a full nights sleep or a nap? Is it considered late at night or early in the morning? Should you try to go back to sleep or wake up and seize the moment?

In my case, and feeling a twinge of a headache like I’ve had a drink before I went to bed even though I didn’t, I think I’m up and should not fight it. I had way too much caffeine today (yesterday) and think that might be a contributing factor to my present situation.

Another factor just might be this set of circumstances I’m rolling into and not quite prepared for. Lots of undiscovered territory and I have a growing sense of trepidation about what kind of predicament I might be getting myself into. I’ve got several post topics brewing in my brain and I feel like maybe taking one of those on will help start to sort things out.

Just now I toggled through my last few weeks to find the one with the list of topics that I wanted to write about and it turns out I’ve touched on several of those already.. yay for that. What I was looking for was to see if the idea I have which I want to elaborate on now was included in that list. There wasn’t really one, but what I did find in the “Sunday Bumble Update” was a brief description of first date #5 and that’s a nice lead in.

To refresh, I had met a very nice person for dinner on a Saturday evening and though it was lovely, I didn’t quite feel the “chemistry” one would hope for. At the time I tried to make an excuse that I was not in the right frame of mind and somehow explain away why afterward I drove solo through the town and ended up crying at Walnut Creek.

Walnut Creek is “my place”. After having lived in this area of town for many years now, I think I can officially say that I have a certain claim on that park and walking path. It is shared by many but holds such rich history for me, I would not think of anywhere else to go by myself for some quiet reflection. After that date, and probably one to many drinks, I found myself there and listening to my music and welling up with tears as I silently asked the universe “why”.

Walnut creek is where Matt proposed to me in 2016 after the second time we broke up. I said no, of course, and later regretted it but came to the conclusion eventually that it was the right thing to do at the time. As I lay on the concrete of the picnic table area that Saturday night I thought about the first time Matt and I met face to face. Until that day, I had only seen a profile picture on Twitter and remember thinking he looked very young (like 16).

The day I met him was at his house and he was having an open-invite memorial day pot luck and I had a friend that was already going and decided I would pop-in and say hi. I remember being introduced and thinking he didn’t look anything like his picture and almost instantly something in me rose up. My heart started to beat a little faster and I was captivated by his height and good looks. It was a very brief introduction as it was his house and he was being a good host cycling around to different groups of folks to make sure all was well. I remember there were a lot of people there and I was quite intimidated because all but one or two were complete strangers.

I also remember being somewhat pre-occupied because the girlfriend of my ex was also there and that was a sticky situation. It was a lot to take in at once, for sure, but something about seeing him for the first time and the way that it made me feel kept leaping to the front of my thoughts.

I later inquired further and was disappointed to learn he had a girl friend who lived with him. I dismissed my day dreams and re-focussed my attention on the rest of my world. Over time, we did have a little back and forth communication via twitter and eventually I ended up meeting him again in person, solo, for coffee. That meeting sparked the same feeling I had the first time I saw him and I again had to push it down because of the girl friend situation. I thought there was something more there, but it was not my place to pursue it with such a complex circumstance. If there was to be more, he would have to work that out himself. Which eventually did come to pass.

We met for several walks around Walnut creek where he opened up to me about that relationship and how he felt about her. He obviously had feelings for me too, but not acting on them was the right thing to do. I don’t remember the exact timing, but I think we also ended up there after he broke it off with her and she had to move out and I wanted to be empathetic and supportive but in truth was excited and hopeful about a newly opened door for myself and for us. I felt selfish about it, but at the same time, thinking it felt really right. It was meant to happen. We were meant to come together. The stars were aligning.

The weeks and months to follow were further confirmation of just how right my instincts were. Things were fabulous and we were great together. I had the very best road trip of my life and the most wonderful amazing night spent under the stars at the Badlands. We seemed to compliment each other very well and I was sure this was it for me – for us. I remember thinking that it was about time I had the happily-ever-after my hopeless romantic heart had always dreamed about. I knew that was going to be it for me, and I proclaimed our love to be “August and Everything After” (yes I was/am a Counting Crows fan, but this fit so perfectly, I was willing to share it with them).

So it sort of began at Walnut and then also sort of ended at Walnut and then I find myself there again and again re-visiting all these things in my life. I’ve also been there many many times with Josh and walked the path and now have even been there once with someone new. It’s not “Matt and my place”, it’s my place and I reserve the right to keep it as my own. Unlike some hair stylists, insurance agents, restaurants, musical groups, and vacation destinations that are off-limits due to “belonging” to someone else, Walnut is “mine”.

I find myself wondering if there really is someone out there for me and if there is “one” right person or if there are lots of potentially right people. My heart so badly wants to still believe in that one true love that will sweep me off my feet and cary me away into the sunset, but my head fights that vehamently as nonsense. But I should not let go of that notion for fear that I will permanently loose that part of who I am. I was born a day-dreamer and why would I ever want to change that?

What I come to realize, through this line of thinking, is that there is some special feeling I have had and can recognize when I meet someone. I know it because I have felt it and though I can’t quite put words to what it is, if it is not there, then I should follow that instinct and not settle for not having it. First date #5 didn’t have it, and again, even though he’s a nice person who might be interested in me, I just have to go with my gut and let that one fade out.

I’m fairly certain the “Bumble” time has run its course and I’ve gained some new wisdom from the experience, but am very much in favor of not using it at all anymore. I’m still on the fence about deleting my profile, but for sure there will be no more swiping right or left in my immediate future. That being said, I have managed to meet two new people who both pique my interest in very different ways and I’m interested to see where those roads will lead, but those are stories for a different day.

For now, it is back to bed with me. I’ve been up for quite some time now and hopeful I will be able to go back to sleep. Second sleep as one might say.

Until the next Tomorrow,
~Miss SugarCookie