2017-09-22 I Wish I Had a Treadmill

I like going to the gym because when I do it’s like dedicated time to myself and I know I’m going to workout because there is nothing else to do there, save for the occasional sauna sitting. I’m focussed and have specific goals in mind. I even like to take classes now, which was not always the case due to my social anxiety, but having instructor led exercise makes me work harder. Sometimes, though, I wish I could just walk in the comfort of my own home and not have to go anywhere.

Take now for example. I woke up at 5am today and not by choice. Whatever illness that creeped into my body a few days ago is still trying it’s damnedest to keep hold of me and I’m just laying there in my bed for an hour thinking about.. well nothing of consequence really. If I had a treadmill, I would probably get up an walk.

I’ve often thought that if I had a treadmill I would not mind walking and watching a show. Right now, I’m not watching any TV at all because I sort of can’t stand to see the time it wastes and I have not allowed myself to dig into anything good. I know if I start watching a really good series, then I probably will binge on it, and then I will feel bad about not getting other things done. If I was walking, then I could at least feel good about getting steps while I enjoy a show.

When I stayed in Ademir and Crystal’s basement this past spring, they had a treadmill there complete with a standing/slanted desk built around it and I actually walked while I worked. I could easily do conference calls and some tasks while walking. That’s a total win-win.

Of all the things I put on my to-do list all the time, getting my steps is not one of them because it’s a daily goal. It’s always there and even when I feel under the weather (like now), I still want to get it done. I may not be doing high-intensity cardio stuff, but any activity is a “step” in the right direction. 😉

I’m going to put this on my wishlist. I’ve started a list of things I would like to have but can’t justify spending money on right now without income. Perhaps that will somehow become an incentive for me to really start looking again. Maybe.

Time to Make the Donuts,
~Miss SugarCookie


2017-09-09 A Fine Time on Nine Nine

Today I woke up early (surprise surprise), but it was OK because I went to bed early so I achieved over nine hours of sleep. That’s a thing that seems to be steadily getting better and I’ve called out the key factors on this before but it bears repeating…
1.) What is on my brain or my level of stress or anxiety any given day which is largely outside of my control, or at least partially out of my control.
2.) What time I choose to go to bed which is completely within my control.
3.) The amount of activity during the day. The more the better.

I’m getting better and better at going to bed at a respectable hour and really nailing the exercise and activity lately. The only thing left is to somehow work on the brain activity. I think meditation might help with that some, but as I stated several posts ago, quieting my brain via normal mediation will take some real work and discipline. And Falling asleep is never an issue, but staying asleep when I wake up is the challenge.

If I can learn to meditate and clear my mind, perhaps I can use that somehow at the magic 4 oclock hour when it’s trying to ramp back up into problem solving mode and I only want to fall back asleep.

That’s probably enough repeating myself about the sleep thing.. I did actually do some noteworthy things today including seeing my new special someone and a meet up with my good friend Amy and hauling my kids around town on errands. It was a pretty good day full of lots of great conversations. All of that quality time with people means my exercise and step count suffered, but I’ve had a pretty above average week thus far and having a low day will not affect my average too much. Besides, the QT was totally worth the numbers taking a hit.

The kids sort of got on each other’s nerves late in the afternoon and once we arrived back home they were happily separated. I had considered a movie or going to Defy Gravity but given the mood, it was better that we all went to our separate corners. I think I also needed a little “alone” time too, but ended up spending most of the evening with Z helping her nurse a burn injury received from a hot glue gun.

It’s past 10:30PM now and I am just getting to writing. Truth be told, I am already getting sleepy and don’t have much in me to elaborate on anything further tonight.

Good Night and Sweet Dreams,
~Miss SugarCookie

2017-09-02 Saturday Triple Play

Yesterday I worked tirelessly on my edging project, including returning/exchanging bags of paving sand to Home Depot because I got the wrong ones first time around. In my infinite wisdom I had decided to lay all the bricks in first (which I did early this week) to get a nice clean line just the way I wanted it. Step two, which if I am really counting is probably step four or five, was to pull them all out again to level with the sand.

I thought “no big deal”, until I could not get them to level and I could not get the curves to come out the same way I did the first time. In addition, something went awry with the slope and the more I went up and around the first curve, the more dirt I had to add back into the trench to keep each paver even with the one before. At 3:30PM I took a break to go pick up Z at school and spend some QT with her and it was probably a good thing. My frustration was at it’s peak. Mostly because I thought this whole step would take a couple of hours and I had spent my whole damn day working at it and was not even half done.

When I arrived back home I continued on for a little bit, until it started to rain. That is when I quit for the day.

So when I woke up this morning at 5:30 AM, I could not get it out of my head and was bound and determined to finish. I was outside by 7AM and the first few bricks were once again a challenge, but after that they started to get easier and easier as the slope declined. In two hours I finished the entire second half, and am much happier about the way that half turned out. I can’t quite figure out what it was yesterday that was making it so difficult but easily let that go with the success I had today. I felt so good about it being done (at least this step), that I went and did a Jazzercise class.

After Jazzercise I headed to CB to help my dad and his wife move out of their apartment and into a condo. I say “help”, but I was only there for a couple of hours and only did about two carloads of stuff. Their apartment is on the third floor and they have lived there for a very long time. Why anyone would choose to live on the third floor is beyond me, but I guess they are finally done with the steps too. I probably went up and down those steps dozens of times hauling armloads of clothes I am pretty sure they have not worn for years. It always amazes me how many things people have.

I am far from being a minimalist, but I definitely have that mindset. “Things” are a burden on a person. Upkeep and storage for things you rarely use or wear or look at is not awesome. I have a large house, but lots of space and not a lot of furniture to fill it up just because I have rooms. In the last two years, and especially with my move, I have gotten rid of a lot of things and it makes me feel lighter. So, going into the back corners of someone else’s closet and seeing what they have just kind of rubs me the wrong way. If you don’t need it, get rid of it.

Anyway, so if I consider the move and the stairs a workout, that’s about three workouts for me so far today. I think that is enough. I’m supposed to be spending some time with my new friend today and at the present moment waiting for him to text and let me know when he is finished with his trail ride. There is no way I was going to suggest accompanying him on that as I am 1.) Physically worn out 2.) Needing a few new items like gloves before I do that again and 3.) Want to practice more solo before I go with him again.

In fact, I think I am so worn out I am going to lay down for a bit. I know I will not be able to sleep, but some rest will do me good. Hopefully that will give me enough energy to get me through whatever we might decide to do this evening. I’m excited to see him again, but still being very level headed about the whole thing. I’m trying not to let the hopeless romantic in me let my imagination get carried away.

Just Keep Swinging,
~Miss SugarCookie

2017-08-10 Strange Days

This week has been so strange. Despite having a few things planned, it seems that nothing is going according to plan. Some of it has been unexpectedly awesome and some of it has been just rotten. I’ll start with rotten so I can end on a positive note.

Yesterday I wrote about my attempt to donate blood and how that turned out. I was so angry. I just hate being turned away and maybe it is because I hate rejection and possibly it is because it feels like a situation that is completely out of my control. Either way, I was just so angry and I felt like punching something when I got back in my car. It was like a mini temper tantrum and that’s not me. I’m very even keel and there is not a lot that makes me angry. This did it though. I channeled that anger into yesterday’s post and also researching more about the diet where low iron is concerned. I tried to take that negative and turn it into a positive and I sort of feel better about it. Sort of.

Yesterday afternoon I had a plan to do Jazzercise, a strength class followed by a dance-mixx class. I was all geared up to do the 45 minute strength set, which was with one of the toughest instructors in my opinion. About 5 minutes in I felt a twinge of a headache, which I had not had going into the class. Another 10 minutes and it was really starting to ramp up into something substantial and about 30 minutes in I was convinced I was having a migraine. On my back doing ab-crunches looking directly up at the light and starting to feel like I wanted to toss the contents of my stomach. The sensitivity to light is a sure sign of a migraine.

Of course I was in the front row and of course it was a strength class which requires one have weights and a ball and a resistance tube and a matt. So many things borrowed from various locations around the room to put away and it would have been very disruptive for me to just quit and put those things away. So I powered through it. It would also look very strange if someone quit 30 minutes into a 45 minute class. I put about 10 to 15% effort into each next exercise until it was finally through. It’s funny how sometimes 15 minutes can seem like an eternity.

When class was over I packed up my things and put all that eq away and high-tailed it out of there. No second class was in the cards for me. After having been afflicted by migraines off and on for my entire adult life, I know the best way to combat them is dark and quiet and sleep, with meds if necessary. That is what I intended to do.

I arrived home and promptly took an Excederine migraine pill, which is just acetaminophen, caffeine, and aspirin. Then I had a bowl of cereal. Then I went up to my room and took a promethazine to combat the nausea. The promethazine also has a nice side effect of making me really drowsy. That’s kind of an understatement though. It actually helps me have a deep relaxing sleep, if I fall asleep. After I took that I had a nice hot shower and then fell into my bed. I was probably asleep in like 5 minutes. No kidding.

According to my Fitbit that was 6:09PM that I fell asleep. The last thing I remember was texting Josh that if I was unresponsive, it was because I was asleep. We were supposed to go to dinner when he finished his work for the day. Apparently he texted and even knocked on my door when he was in the area and I was unresponsive.

I woke up around 9pm, very groggy like I was still in the middle of that drug-induced fog. The headache was gone but my body hurt like I had fallen asleep so suddenly and then slept wrong. It was the strangest feeling. I had a bite to eat and texted with Josh and then decided it would be best if I just let my body sleep and went back to bed. That was about 10:15pm. I slept until 7:30 this morning. Adding it up that was almost 12 hours total. I have not slept that much in forever. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I slept that long. Wow.

Right now I’m at the Toyota service shop getting an oil change. It was good that I woke up when I did so I did not miss my appointment. However, my Mac is very low on power (< 5%) and I don’t have the power cord so I’m going to have to save the “good” for when I’m back home and plugged in.

More Laterz,
~Miss SugarCookie

2017-06-30 Last Day of June

Today is the last day of June and the last day of the first half of the year. I’m historically into being retrospective and analyzing things in order to make adjustments and improvements but not sure I’m really in the mood for a deep dive into that right now. Perhaps just a slight toe-dip in the shallow end…

When I started this little adventure in January I was in desperate need of SOMETHING. I was in need of something but not sure what it was. I knew I was not in a good place with my life and that changes needed to be made, but I really had no idea what the real problems were and what I should be doing. My initial conclusions were to write about it and try to focus on my health. That is exactly what I did.

I’ve put more effort into exercise and making sure I get good physical activity more. I’ve realized this is not easy to do because of time constraints. It takes time to go out walking, or hit the Jazzercise classes, or the gym. As a person with lots of responsibilities and limited time, the struggle is not with improving my fitness, it’s with balancing my time.

I’ve put some effort into improving my diet. I went through the whole food tracker app analysis phase and determined the right app for me only to stop using it only a few weeks after that decision was made. The truth is, I’ve done a lot of research in the past about eating healthy and know what I should and should not be doing and more importantly, I know what works for me and I know what my weaknesses are.

I’m addicted to sugar (most Americans are). I’m often in a hurry (most Americans are) and opt for the quick easy meal, which is often a less healthy choice. And eating and drinking is a social thing, because there is not a lot of other things to do, so we tend to meet up over a meal or coffee or a few drinks. Given all of this, it stands to reason that when I’m home in my own space with time on my time, I have the ability to make better choices. I can spend a few minutes making a delicious salad or something else that’s not all sugar and fat. Again, the missing ingredient is time.

It is the same thing with sleep, which is the thing I have struggled with the most to try and course correct. I’ve definitely had some ups and downs. I can look at my FitBit history and see weeks I had 4 and 5 hours average sleep and some where I was almost at 7 hours. I’m off taking any meds now to aid sleep and going in the right direction with it, but still not making the best decisions when it comes to going to bed at a decent time. Because, well… time.

Since I am only dipping my toe into the thought puzzle game today, and am probably already ankle deep, I’m going to stop there. If I start talking about work and relationships and road trips and cheeseburgers, my head will be under water before you know it and frankly, I don’t have time for that right now. (How appropriate).

Perhaps there will be more of a retrospective later. For now, time to get up and get moving.

Happy Last Day of June!
~Miss SugarCookie

2017-06-11 Sunday Stats and Things Like That

I’ve been so focussed on the big things and the big picture and big changes that I have not been keeping up on my day to day/week to week analysis. It’s really about time to start digging back into the details and when it comes to details, stats (and things like that) are where it’s at.

Have I written about balance? Yes
Have I written about everything being connected? Yes
Have I concluded that being healthy starts with sleeping well? Yes, lots of times. All of the validation I need is within these few important items…

Sleep: Last 7 days average 7 hours and 39 minutes. 39 minutes above my unofficial goal. 😃

Exercise: 7 day average step count is 18,150. That’s 6K over my official goal of 12K per day and 3 K over my unofficial daily goal. 😃

I’ve been to 3 or 4 Jazzercise classes this week as well as multiple workouts at the gym and several walks in various parts of town (hence the stellar step count). 😃

Eating: This is the one area I feel I’ve sort of failed on as Ive given in to lots of cravings and eaten out a bunch. The scale is up a few lbs. and I want to try and figure out how to make a plan and stick to it. Of all the things, I think this will be the biggest challenge ahead of me.

For today though, I want to celebrate this success. Deep down in my heart I feel like I can attribute my sleeping better to the huge weight that has been lifted off me. I also feel like the fact that I am beginning to “let go” has given be back a little more time to focus on exercise, even though I’m not really done yet.

That celebration starts with enjoying the rest of my weekend. Monday will be here soon, so I am going to go now, and squeeze as much funday out of the rest of this Sunday as I can.

~Miss SugarCookie

2017-06-03 The Sleep Success

It’s a beautiful morning and it’s going to be a glorious day. It’s Saturday and I woke up to 66 degrees of easy breezy sunshine. I decided to get a bit of a workout in before the kids wake up and will prolly also try to squeeze a Jazzercise dance Mixx set too.

Lunch with mom yesterday was good and she took the news of me quitting well. She’s pretty much supportive of me no matter what choices I make, so that’s nice. I told her I’m already sleeping better. I’m not even done working, yet knowing I’m not going to have to be responsible for everything I was accountable for in my position is such a relief.

I decided a week ago I was not going to take anything to aid my sleep anymore. And I’ve stuck to that. It’s been amazing that each day that goes by I’ve slept better and better.

My average this week is about 6.5 hours which is great considering I was sleeping on a couch in Denver for half those days. The last couple nights I’ve gotten almost 8 hours. No wonder I’m waking up feeling so wonderful,

I have a good feeling next week is going to be even better. I’m going to go for an average of 7.5. There are more factors that affect that besides waking up in the middle of the night with my mind spinning, trying to problem solve (or not, as the case is now). The other factor is my own choice of when to go to bed. I often choose to stay up late for one reason or another. So if I set a regular time to call it quits, that’s going to make a big impact.

I just need to continue to do the things I’m doing and I will be on the successfully sleepy train for good.
Continuing to get good workouts during the day will also help. On that note, I’d better get to it.

~Miss SugarCookie